you playing on a laptop?

Ok YOU definitely have potential for something awesome. Explaining a little bit about the game itself in the beginning was great and showed you had a good idea of what you were doing haha. The whole thing is a little slow and i don't think that you are the reason for it but rather the game itself. Perhaps it's just building up? The ending was good haha. but then again thats the hard thing with game narration and it just takes practice so don't stop. You will find that you are improving your stuff after every new video you make.

I think you should match the setting that you are playing in with the mood of the game. Like play in a darker room and use some sort of lighting. the face cam wont be so awkward and will feel more natural, plus it will help you get into the game more, meaning more scares! playing horror indie games so that others can laugh at your dismay can be so hard but the more you suffer, the funnier it is!

One thing that took away from your video a bit was the FPS. I don't know if it is because of your computer or the program, but it was noticeably laggy which made it hard to watch and get into. I noticed that you are using something called "Screencast-o-matic.com" maybe it's that. Try FRAPS. The full version doesn't cost much and it seems to be what everyone uses, including myself.

One more thing, and this is why i had originally asked if you were on a laptop, the audio wasn't so good meaning i couldn't hear you too well but this can easily be fixed with a microphone of some sort! Even the microphone from the Rock Band game works great! Also find that nice angle for the face cam. I am pretty sure you were laying in bed with the laptop resting on your legs while you used the built in webcam. The built in webcam is great but when it shakes and points up at you at a weird angle well haha idk what to think really about that.

I am bored and am about to hit the sack and this is the reason why i wrote such a long reply to your post. I hope you don't mind. I know how it is when asking for feedback and I hate it when people just say "nice channel bro!"

I think you are off to an excellent start. Don't stop and continue, you will find yourself improving. I am by no mean a pro game commentator but I have been studying the good and the bad of youtube's game commentating realm. Being a cute girl gives you a great advantage! Don't stop, get your set up (mic, camera angle, lighting) all figured out, always talk and don't go zombie when play, and HAVE FUN!

And I subbed because I interested into see how you improve.

Well there you go.
hmmm as for helping with with the pirates I'm sure your bf knows a thing or two! or you can learn from youtube haha

good luck deary

Good job.
Definitely subbed and I look forward to seeing more from you.
+Bravo on the facecam, most people can't figure that crap out in the first place.

Oh, and you may want to edit your first post to follow the template, just so no one says anything.

Fun to watch, and you should definitely record more. But you may want to record it either on a desktop and/or try to find another recording software (fraps is good!).

Also, early happy b'day!

Its pretty good because like everyone else said. The facecam.
the only thing thou, you should make it a bit bigger.
subbed

Very nice, just keep making vids and one day, you'll start getting a lot of people watching your vids
Shall we sub each other?

Great video. You should record more. Subbed you and looking forward to more vids.