I agree. You should not let them make you choose a side. It happens to me all of the time when I have friends that hate my other friends. I just stay out of it because I don't want to lose any of them. You aren't having this disagreement, they are. So, you don't have to choose. Just be there for both of them for whatever outcome comes to be.

They shouldn't drag you into their arguments. Sure, everyone likes to moan about people and such, but then asking you to choose between the two of them isn't right. Just stay out of it and still be friends with both of them, picking sides is childish.

You have may to give them "the speech"

This is where you tell them that it takes two people to fight, and %100 of all fights with regularly nice people starts when one person says something that they think is regular or unoffensive to say and the other person perceives it as mean. This is probably then when mean gets mean and the fight blows up. To stop a fight, you have to be the first one to be nice, which sometimes can be really hard to do. This seems like the friend that is apologizing seems to be understanding this. Sides don't have to be chosen, but this doesn't mean you can't help solve the conflict. Talk to them, get both sides of the story, and help them understand that what they have done can be overcome, as long as they are both truly sorry. I hope this helps :3

What you need to do is from a mutual friend perspective is appeal to your best friend to find revelation with your other friend. Make it clear to him/her that you don't like seeing them so apart and that what was said is in the past and everyone makes mistakes, it's part of life. tell the other friend that if he/she is TRULY sorry for what they said then they NEED to make it up to your best friend.

That way you're not picking sides and you appear to be helping both and the problem is solved

Well done you have been the very FIRST person to get a non-sarcastic answer from me based on mutual understanding...

Have an imaginary cookie

That is all

Take into consideration that people make mistakes, and those who are brave enough to admit that they were wrong for their behavior and apologized for it should be be given a second chance. I personally would not be able to stand a friend who would still hold a grudge against a wrongdoer and be stubborn enough to not let whatever is bothering her go. It sort of shows the negativity in her character...

My advice is to support the guilt-ridden friend against the spiteful one. Tell her to just let it go and move on.

"Compassion and tolerance are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength."

Yeah, it's a tricky situation. I'd suggest trying not to get involved if both sides seem equal to you. Maybe you should suggest to them that they work it out between them? It's unfair to hold a grudge against someone for so long, even if it was something so insensitive. If it's just left hanging like this, it may not diffuse, but if they talk about it and let it all out in the open it might help. I still very inexperienced, so I haven't been in a situation like this, but this is the best I can come up with. I hope it all turns out well for you.

I think just about everyone has said what I'm going to. It's a tough situation but you shouldn't get involved. I know you may want to because their your friends, but a true friend wouldn't ask you to take a side. It's not your argument and honestly, I'd tell them that. If they want to continue to be friends, they need to settle it themselves. There's nothing wrong you with helping them settle it - just don't choose sides.