Hi, I’ve wanted to write a post about social anxiety. If you don’t have it you will probably don’t understand what I’m talking about but aniways. I’ve always been the kind of shy corner person, fearful in front of other people…I don’t know why…but this is how I remember it and how it started….At first music and later videos, it was an escape. When I listent, played, or later made videos it made me happy. I could have fun in a way that I couldn’t in front of other ppl…I wouldn’t admit this to myself at the time...that’s how it was.
But even when you make videos alone, you’re not making them in a vacuum...its still is in some sense made in front of people, even metaphorically….and I think the same thing that haunted me in a real world, it haunts me online. There’s no difference between online and offline world, it’s easy to pretend there is, but there really isn’t. What makes online thing a different world when in fact it's not, this is something I don’t understand.
It really got me thinking today, when I watched Pewdiepie’s video about hate comments…..most of online comments are surreal nonsense. What I mean is that it has got nothing to do with anything…hello, everyone good day! spam and promotion, hate…all these things people wouldn’t have said in a real world…to real people and hence it doesn’t mean anything…it’s cry into nothingness, I don't mean it's bad, it's just has different kind of meaning, than the meaning real ppl would say to each other.
I’ve done busking this year…which was huge challenge for me. Busking is like playing live music in the streets and you really expose yourself in a way, jumping and screaming like crazy in a place where it might not even be tolerated. Some ppl appreciate it, some ppl don’t, large portions of ppl don’t give a shit. And this is where I’ve realised the difference between the real world and online world. In a video you can do all sorts of crazy shit and upload it and forget about it. But in real world it happens at once and you just see the response immediately. If large portions of people are just passing by and no one cares you see it immediately. If you’ve got social anxiety then this will trigger you to feel the anxiety to some extent. I’ve been talking about this with people who don’t have social anxiety and in their worldview, it doesn’t matter if ppl don’t care, they don’t feel any different.
Now back to youtube, I don’t really know what social anxiety means, it’s a fear or a bunch of definitions in ur head. It’s just how you approach the whole thing. Some people say you shouldn’t care what other people think and then they also say you should care about other people naturally because you are human and whatever activity you will ever do, other people will always be part of it. I think it’s challenging to find the secure middle ground in this, for me and probably for many other people on the internet.
If you have any opinions on this, feel free to share.
But even when you make videos alone, you’re not making them in a vacuum...its still is in some sense made in front of people, even metaphorically….and I think the same thing that haunted me in a real world, it haunts me online. There’s no difference between online and offline world, it’s easy to pretend there is, but there really isn’t. What makes online thing a different world when in fact it's not, this is something I don’t understand.
It really got me thinking today, when I watched Pewdiepie’s video about hate comments…..most of online comments are surreal nonsense. What I mean is that it has got nothing to do with anything…hello, everyone good day! spam and promotion, hate…all these things people wouldn’t have said in a real world…to real people and hence it doesn’t mean anything…it’s cry into nothingness, I don't mean it's bad, it's just has different kind of meaning, than the meaning real ppl would say to each other.
I’ve done busking this year…which was huge challenge for me. Busking is like playing live music in the streets and you really expose yourself in a way, jumping and screaming like crazy in a place where it might not even be tolerated. Some ppl appreciate it, some ppl don’t, large portions of ppl don’t give a shit. And this is where I’ve realised the difference between the real world and online world. In a video you can do all sorts of crazy shit and upload it and forget about it. But in real world it happens at once and you just see the response immediately. If large portions of people are just passing by and no one cares you see it immediately. If you’ve got social anxiety then this will trigger you to feel the anxiety to some extent. I’ve been talking about this with people who don’t have social anxiety and in their worldview, it doesn’t matter if ppl don’t care, they don’t feel any different.
Now back to youtube, I don’t really know what social anxiety means, it’s a fear or a bunch of definitions in ur head. It’s just how you approach the whole thing. Some people say you shouldn’t care what other people think and then they also say you should care about other people naturally because you are human and whatever activity you will ever do, other people will always be part of it. I think it’s challenging to find the secure middle ground in this, for me and probably for many other people on the internet.
If you have any opinions on this, feel free to share.
) Also depression. Music can do wonders because you can relate to songs in ways you never could by talking.
