I'm a very shy person, I don't have much good friends (2). I'm not looking for fame. But feel lonely most of the time. I have a strange personality, not everyone like it. There are a few person that talks to me sometime,we don't really share the same interests, so were not really super close friends.The thing is, in my school, people are only looking to get popular, Everyone tries to be everyone else, they ''copying'' eachother. There is not much people that conserves his personality like me. When I am my self, I feel good, but also very lonely. When I try to socialize with people around, I feel bored. It's the same thing with my whole familly, can't take much more of this. I often get depressed for not much. Often thinks about suicide, but something inside me keeps me from doing it. I keep looking foward, tomorow will be another day.. I try to change this, but I never arrived with a proper solution in 15 years.

I don't think a thumb up will really really help but anyway

ok, but I have a question. Wich game you play on? Me I play skyrim and make montages.

well, I'll live as long as I can endure this. But I think 40years is enought. My passion is Media.. I want to work in this. I don't care about the money, as long as I get a piece of bread and some Chesse. (not sure if i wrote it correctly thought)

Yeah, I suppose so.

Update: Well, last year, I did some theater and I was fully stressed but I was good. I said to myself '' It's not me, it's my character whos talking in a weird moth priest' s dress :D''. I met some new peoples (all girls so I always had that feeling I hate ) But today, I don't talk much to them, as I said before, I don't share the same interests. I like video games and editing videos, even planned to make career in that. They don't really like video games , and don't really care about random videos either. So I stop to talk to them. Now, my 2 friend are gone to other schools, and I am lost. I only see them in weekend, if they can, most of the time they are busy. For other people in my school, they are dumb and immature ,most of them, they are in my school for 4 years now so I know them a bit, they are not my friend, lucky me they don't bully me yet. I feel like shit to not be able to speak to anybody. Making new friend and meeting new people always give me horrible feelings. This was a little update to make sure you really understand what I really meant by ''shy''.

I think there are a lot of people out there who are in the same situation you are in.

I can easily get depressed as well, but when something positive happens; I'm all good!



Never consider suicidal. I hope you realize how much you mean for your family.

Think about what their feelings would be like if you did it. They would think they did something wrong.

They might feel like crap for the rest of their lives if you even mentioned it to them.



I suggest that you talk to them about you being bored, or anything similar.

You will eventually find something you love doing, talking with someone always helps you towards finding out what you love.

My parents caused me trouble most of my life, they made me beliveve I was mentally sick while I was not. I grew up now and I hate them. For my brother, he has a mental illness that i can't translate (and explain properly). He can't writte and read, and he have social problems. I realized that my videos make him laught (He can hear my voice) , and that what I want. For the rest of my familly they know about me and my story but they're like (we can't help you , were really really sorry ). I have spoken to my teachers too and they can't do anything, because im too old and the gov don't do anything for old kids. Looks like I was doomed to fall in a life of problem.