Okay, so about 10 minutes ago my mother came into my room. Angry as normal, cause i missed that i wouöd've stopped being on my computer for about 30 Minutes ago. So, she says that i will just be allowed to play 2 hours everyday. And that might not sound to horrible, but here comes the part why i am typing this.
My mother, she's angry on me almost everytime i see her, like when she comes home she barely says hi to me and shes just mad on me, the only times she comes into my room is when shes going to shout and scream at me for not doing what i should've done that day, or been playing for 5 minutes too long or maybe just went up to my room without barely saying hi too her. Sometimes she even get mad at me for not saying hi to my ltitle brother when he's saying hi to me, but sometimes i simply can't hear him saying high cause i'm too into other stuff at that very moment as he also have problems with his speech cause he's an autist.
Most of the times she's mad cause i don't take responsibility just cause i'm on my computer too much. But, i have always and i mean ALWAYS had problems taking responsibility. And i have the last months started too take responsibility more and more, and that's just very hard for me, i usually forgets things very much which for exanple might be that i forgot doing the dishes (Which i usually do) Or stop playing 9AM.
So all of this usually makes me incredibly angry on her aswell but i simply can't say it to her so i just keep crying and crying. And sometimes in my mind i have the thoughts of stabbing her cause i'm mad or just beating her up. So i'm actually afraid that oe day i will one of those two things just cause i'm so angry at her.
Anyone here have any advice of how i could let my actuall anger out on her without being, first upright mean to her. And second not trying to beat her up?
I don't have an idea why i can't let my anger on her out but i simply can't it's like it's impossible. My father keeps telling me that letting your rage out or just letting every single of my thoughts out is much easier. And he's a therapist. Why can't i just listen too him?
Instead of letting all of this out on my mother i let it all out on my friends by being mad at them and hitting them in school and such, it's just amazing that they can live with me being all mean to them all the time.
And maybe i'm just overreacting, i don't know. But i really need help right now.
My mother, she's angry on me almost everytime i see her, like when she comes home she barely says hi to me and shes just mad on me, the only times she comes into my room is when shes going to shout and scream at me for not doing what i should've done that day, or been playing for 5 minutes too long or maybe just went up to my room without barely saying hi too her. Sometimes she even get mad at me for not saying hi to my ltitle brother when he's saying hi to me, but sometimes i simply can't hear him saying high cause i'm too into other stuff at that very moment as he also have problems with his speech cause he's an autist.
Most of the times she's mad cause i don't take responsibility just cause i'm on my computer too much. But, i have always and i mean ALWAYS had problems taking responsibility. And i have the last months started too take responsibility more and more, and that's just very hard for me, i usually forgets things very much which for exanple might be that i forgot doing the dishes (Which i usually do) Or stop playing 9AM.
So all of this usually makes me incredibly angry on her aswell but i simply can't say it to her so i just keep crying and crying. And sometimes in my mind i have the thoughts of stabbing her cause i'm mad or just beating her up. So i'm actually afraid that oe day i will one of those two things just cause i'm so angry at her.
Anyone here have any advice of how i could let my actuall anger out on her without being, first upright mean to her. And second not trying to beat her up?
I don't have an idea why i can't let my anger on her out but i simply can't it's like it's impossible. My father keeps telling me that letting your rage out or just letting every single of my thoughts out is much easier. And he's a therapist. Why can't i just listen too him?
Instead of letting all of this out on my mother i let it all out on my friends by being mad at them and hitting them in school and such, it's just amazing that they can live with me being all mean to them all the time.
And maybe i'm just overreacting, i don't know. But i really need help right now.