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    • letter

      Dear friend Michael,
      Thank you very much for the computer game, that you gave me on my birthday. It's awesome! The story and graphics are fantastic! I've completed it for a week. My friends want to play it, but I don't want (to)give it to somebody. I know it is expensive.
      I enjoyed my birthday, very much. My parents presented me a new bicycle! Now, I always ride it, when I have a free time. George gave me
      a lightsaber, like in the "Star Wars" saga.
      The birthday lasted from the morning. Not many guests came, only the closest people: mine and George's parents, Mikki, Stephano and Felix. Bad, that you weren't there, hope you could come next year :)
      The holiday was great, there were lot's of fun! But it was not without adventures. At the middle of the day, little Mikki broke the trampoline, and eventually we had to pay for it...
      At the end of the day Stephano and Felix get back home. After that, we watched the film called "Lord of the Rings" and finally went sleep.
      I hope you're brilliant! Thanks again for the great gift :)
      Best wishes
      Your friend, Tony

      ___________________________
      It's just for an english lesson)
      Is it correct?

      The post was edited 1 time, last by PurpelPumpkin ().

    • I think you did okay, but some of the sentences sound a bit off. I'll try to explain how to fix the sentences, and then I'll post what it should look like.
      Display Spoiler
      "Thank you very much for the computer game, that you gave me on my birthday." - Remove the comma

      "I've completed it for a week." - Change it to "I completed it in a week"

      "My friends want to play it, but I don't want (to)give it to somebody." - Either "to give it to anybody" or "lend it to somebody/anybody" would sound better

      "presented me a new bicycle!" - Try "presented me with a new bicycle" or "gave me a new bicycle"

      "The birthday lasted from the morning." - Did you mean "the birthday party started in the morning"?

      "Not many guests came, only the closest people: mine and George's parents, Mikki, Stephano and Felix." - Put the word "that" inbetween "not" and "many", then rewrite "only the closest people" as "only my closest friends", then switch "George" and "mine" but change the "mine" to a "my"

      "Bad, that you weren't there, hope you could come next year" - Try rewriting it as "I wish you could have been here, but I hope you can come next year!"

      "The holiday was great, there were lot's of fun!" - Change "holiday" to "birthday", because birthdays aren't really considered to be holidays, then rewrite "there were lot's of fun" as "we had lots of fun!"

      "But it was not without adventures." - Take away the "but", because the word "but" means "except". Try changing it to "it was very eventful."

      "At the middle of the day, little Mikki broke" - I think that this is okay, but it would sound better if you said "Sometime in the afternoon, little Mikki"

      "At the end of the day Stephano and Felix get back home" - Change "get" to "went"


      "After that, we watched the film called "Lord of the Rings" and finally went sleep." - You should end the sentence after "Lord of the Rings", then start a new sentence saying "We eventually went to sleep" or "We went to sleep after that".

      "I hope you're brilliant" - I think this sounds okay, but trying adding a "doing" inbetween "you're" and "brilliant"

      "Best wishes

      Your friend, Tony" - rewrite it as
      "Best wishes! Your friend,
      Tony"



      And now I shall show you what it would look like:

      Display Spoiler
      Dear Michael, (or Dear friend Michael)
      Thank you very much for the computer game that you gave me for my birthday. It's awesome; the story and graphics are fantastic! I completed it in a week. My friends want to play it, but I don't want to give it to anybody. I know that it's expensive.
      I enjoyed my birthday very much. My parents gave me(or presented me with) a new bicycle! I always ride it now, when I have free time. George gave me a lightsaber, like in the "Star Wars" saga.
      Not that many people came, only my closest friends: George's and my parents, Mikki, Stephano, and Felix. I wish you could have been here, but hopefully you can come next year!
      My birthday was great, we had lots of fun! It was very eventful. Sometime in the afternoon, little Mikki broke the trampoline, and we eventually had to pay for it..
      At the end of the day, Stephano and Felix went back home. After that, we watched the film called "Lord of the Rings". We went to sleep sometime later. I hope you're doing brilliant! Thanks again for the great gift! :)
      Best wishes! Your friend,
      Tony