How to cook a pig

Step 1 - catch a pig (It must be wild, or else the meat won't be tender)
Step 2 - take it home (The pig will provide a great friend for kids for a few months)
Step 3 - Take it to a local slaughterhouse
Step 4 - Kill it humanely (electric volts will knock it out and then slicing it's throat open will be better)
Step 5 - Once the pig is checked and given the ok to eat, cut it into the appropriate cuts and slowly roast the belly over a bed of garlic and thyme.
Step 6 - Once the belly is cooked, reduce the juices into a gravy and cut the belly into cubes, then put them into the fridge.
Step 7 - Have Gordon Ramsey judge your food.
Step 8 - If he calls you a idiot, pillock or a twit, you've cooked it beautifully.

Tophat... I couldnt of explained that any more better...

Why thank you! Gordon Ramsey is my spirit animal, afterall

You horrible Brit... Why must you do that to a cute pig? QwQ

What? I gave the answer on how a pig is cooked irl. Horrible, but I'm a pacifist.

Sure you are >.>