Scenario: You are on a train when a random character sits next to you. This character has a weapon and you have one item to protect yourself with. A witness is also there and tries to protect you. How bad would your train journey be if this character decides to attack you?

Character (Month you were born)
January - Mario
February - Walter White
March - Yakko Warner
April - The Puppet
May - Ryuk
June - Deadpool
July - Mufasa
August - Ash Ketchum
September - Pacman
October - Jack Skellington
November - Monkey D. Luffy
December - Tigger

Weapon (date you were born)
1-5 - Sledgehammer
6-10 - Knife
11-15 - Pirate hook
16-20 - Acid
21-25 - Cannonball
26-31 - Tazer

Item (eye colour)
Brown - Straw Hat
Blue - Pizza
Hazel - Hylian Shiels
Green - Fan

Witness (Shirt/vest colour)
Black - Simba
White - Mandopony
Blue - Brian May
Red - Pennywise
Pink - Yosemite Sam
Yellow - Captain America
Green - Pikachu
Stripes - Mulan
Polka dots - The Teletubbies
Other/No Shirt - Skeletor

My combination would be The Puppet with a Pirate hook. I'd have pizza to protect myself and Simba would witness. Fairly straight forward, but there wouldn't be pizza left...