It's interesting that there would be so many changes in your -version. I wonder, did you feel overstimulated during your high school and those college years? Did you really love having company and felt recharged during that one year of college?I don't mean to pry so answer to your comfort, of course
I don't mind at all. I'm always down sharing experiences
High school was too stimulating for me to get out of my shell. Having to deal with being a foreigner and the language barrier along with the usual high school drama, the different personalities, and keeping my grades on average was difficult. I did get bullied a bit when I was 12 and first started school in the Philippines because I couldn't speak the language and I was wearing a back brace for my scoliosis. I felt like a loser. I just felt so bad for myself because I couldn't fit in with anyone. I guess that stuck with me throughout high school.
When I was about to enter college, I told myself it's a new chapter and this is my chance to make up for the confidence I lacked in high school. So I built my confidence and my energy up. I met a lot of people, say hi to them when I see them, and went out with them in between classes (sometimes skipping class). During that time, I thought knowing a lot of people and talking with them would fill the void. But as the months passed by, I realized with 98% of the friends I made, the friendship was superficial. They were all about partying, drinking, and who's hooking up with who and I couldn't have a mature conversation with them. It was great having company around me but I realized the people I needed was not friends who just keep me company but friends who I can confide to and who would confide in me and share who they are to me. I needed friends who I can grow with and learn from. I felt like I created a persona that wasn't me at all and I slumped back to being an introvert.
During my first year in Nursing school (I had to shift to nursing from another course because of mum), I was so introverted to the point where it amazes people when they hear me say a word. I felt like I'd rather be alone than be with people whom I have to adjust my personality to. Eventually, I told myself that I wouldn't know other people if I never gave them a chance to know me. So I started to open up very slowly during my second year. By the time third year came, I smiled a little more and I was opening myself up to my classmates. I have those days where I'm quiet and my friends would know and would not overstimulate me. Before I graduated, the Dean had a one-on-one talk and told me that she was amazed and happy on how far I came along and how I took a complete 180 degrees personality and performance wise.
Sorry that my answer is too long!
The post was edited 1 time, last by yookaj ().