I'm sorry what you went through and what you are going through. I have anxiety and OCD but I'm on the steps to recovery. I will be here for you and I do care <3333

I could be a part of your YouTuber Support Group v2.0, haha.

Best advice I can really think of off the top of my head is just dedicate time to your passions. I can go more in-depth with it, but I personally feel like it's a more one-on-one kind of conversation than a public forum one.

Let me share a quote, and just tell me what you think.
''Basically, we are all responsible for the preservation of our personal joy; but happiness is different. Joy is not circumstantial, happiness is. You can be depressed and still have joy. You can be suicidal and still have joy. We all stop thinking and we all stop talking and we all stop sharing and we all stop creating, because by doing any ofthese things we quickly find out just how unhappy we are. But that’s okay. That’s normal. Don’t let the fear of unhappiness cripple your pursuit of finding what it is you believe. Since joy is found in belief, we all have to push through unhappiness to find joy.''

Hey bro

This one hits home with me. I had really bad depression and I still sometimes struggle with it. If you'd like to talk more I'm here if you need me

Together we ARE strong!

BROFIST!

Youtube is such a hard place to relieve feelings of anxiety or sadness. Deep down there is obviously sooooo much pressure with wanting to be noticed and in some ways you want to leave your mark on the community. The thing is that expectations of what Youtube is for Youtubers has gone a little crazy lately.

Everyone thinks that you need millions to be awesome and happy. The thing is can you picture what it would be like if you put all your fans in a room and stood infront of them?

At the moment BluJay you have over 1000 followers, which in most cases is a sell out show for most entertainers! You should be extremely proud of your achievements! Just pause and think for a second. You have...over...1000 people who care about what you say and do that they are willing to spend time out of their own lives to see what you come up with.

These fans will generally go to the edge of existance to show how much they love you like any Youtuber and their fanbase has. Knowing that 1000 people on this planet smile through your work is something to be extremely proud of. You made it! You are a Youtuber! Now get out there, smile and keep people smiling through your passion for gaming and graphics!

And as I like to say to everyone...STAY AWESOME!

Don't think your alone here *hugs* I've been there and back again.. I was diagnosed with many personality disorders which lead to horrible depression and anxiety from losing my close friends when I was 11-12 years old. It lead into a 5 year horror story of my parents dragging me to psychologists and giving me every kind of drug you can name with horrific side effects. I'v tried to end it on multiple occasions, but every day that I am still here and breathing makes me stronger. I am so thankful for everything I have now and that I now know I can make it through life. Things will get better, that start begins with you. Just keep those near you who accept you for you, and keep doing what you love. If others don't like it, you need to learn to say 'screw them!'. It will be hard at first, but it will only make you stronger.

Keep gaming, and keep your head up. Stick with your passion and just try to let everything else go. It may take a long time, it took me close to 5 years before I could say "F-You!" to all the worries and fears and doubts in my life, and I still sometimes have to battle it to this day. But it does get better, you will grow stronger, and these experiences will only mold you into a more honest caring and understanding person so that one day you can help someone who was one in your shoes.

Keep doing what you love, look to the future, and above all else: be yourself.

That's what I love about YouTube. Out of all the videos I've made people have told me that video connected to them on a personal level the most. You can connect to people in such a personal and unique way that you can't with TV and Movies. And I believe the more you do this, the more connections you're going to make, just like here.

Oh BTW, I heard you wanted to touch Alan's butt.

Your current view counts are actually what you should expect from having around 1000 subs. I have nearly 4000 yet generally under 1000 or even under 500 even watch anything.

I've been there so I know how you feel

I know somedays you'll feel like you want to give up, but please don't. It's so hard and no one really understands, other
than those who have been through it too.

I had mild depression from the age of 14 which then became full-on unbearable at around the age of 17.
(My mum died when I was 16 making things so much worse to say the least!)

Anyway, in the short term, having a job helped keep me busy so that I couldn't feel that way, but as soon as I had
a day off or I was on my own at home, it would come back.
I had it so bad and finally after 4 years of severe depression I was ready to get help.

(I had been heavily considering suicide and I just didn't want to be here anymore.
I was in a constant black hole of despair although I hid it really well).

Last year I started therapy, and finished this summer and I can honestly say that I am a different person.
I wasn't forced to go, I went on my own terms and my counsellor was so, so lovely. He really cared
about me and he really went out of his way to help me

I never took antidepressants as they only work on the symptoms not the cause. They're not a cure...

Long story short, I'm finally happy after years and years of depression. It does get better and you will be okay!

T^T... Sad story,, we're here, bro..

We're all brothers and bro's here so just don't be afraid to talk to us when in need
And ignore the barrels that lurk here sometimes they just make your days worse O_O

Welcome to the club Katie.
You know that i am here for you - i have been here since the start and hell i aint abandoning you, especially in your current state.
Just send me a message, vent to me, i'll be here to listen and help you as much as i can.
Love you dear

First of all let me tell you what I've gone through in my life. My parents were fighting all the time when I was a kid and they got divorced, there wasnt a lot of money in my country back then, so there wasnt any jobs at all. We were poor then and all I could do is just to hang outside and do pretty much nothing. I didn't have a Playstation or PC when I was little, to be honest I got my internet one month before I went to high school. My mother was taking all sorts of pills so she could stay calm. Now the situation is much better, they are both working, the life is going fine even though they are divorced, I go to my dad every once in a while. Even then I wasn't happy, I needed something so I could stay calm and not be sad all the time, I found my save heaven in youtube, there I could just be myself, and talk and take that burden of my back. I suggest that you just take that burden of your chest, talk to people, find some activities that will keep you busy and just stop caring about silly things around you and be happy. Planet Earth is great and full of things to see and do. Set yourself a goal and follow that goal / dream til the end, and never EVER give up from it.

Keep on keeping on. Happiness will come~ And yeah, I've noticed stress normally comes with room-mates. Even the best of friends can get tired of each other, sometimes/

Relationships between room mates can take a turn for the worse so quickly, mine never really recovered and I found that once I moved out I never talked to them again. Yet until that point of no return which I don't even know when everything changed we'd all been friends.
hread
Personally I have always found it easier to open up with strangers and to fellow forum members, you get to so quickly see how many people are willing to take the time to chat when life might not be taking the best turns for you personally. Even if i'm late to the party reading through the thread it looks like things are looking up at least.
When all else fails a good hug can always help too!

Aww BlueJay We have all been through at a depression stage! I'm sorry to hear about your roommate problem. If you need to talk, just drop by and say hi! I don't mind listening
Everyone are here for each other